Creating a Calm-Down Kit
When everything feels too loud, too fast or too difficult, it can be hard to work out what might help.
You may know that you need something, but not know what that something is.
A calm-down kit gives you a small collection of familiar objects and simple actions to turn to when thinking clearly feels difficult. It is not about forcing yourself to feel better. It is about making the next few minutes a little more manageable.
You do not have to fix everything right now.
You can begin with one object, one small action or one quiet place to sit.
Your kit does not need to be beautiful, expensive or perfectly organised. It only needs to contain things that feel useful to you.
You can use a basket, bag, drawer, shoebox, pencil case, container or part of a shelf. You can also create a digital version using saved videos, photographs, music, written reminders or guided activities.
There is no correct way to make one.
Image suggestion: An open wooden box or soft fabric basket containing a smooth stone, folded paper, pencils, fabric, headphones and a small handmade mosaic piece.
Alt text: Open calm-down kit containing simple sensory objects, drawing materials, headphones and a small mosaic.
What Is a Calm-Down Kit?
A calm-down kit is a collection of things you can reach for when you feel overwhelmed, restless, emotionally full, disconnected, frightened, frustrated or unable to settle.
It might include objects to hold, things to look at, simple activities for your hands, familiar sounds, comforting textures or reminders of what you can do next.
The purpose of the kit is not to make your feelings disappear.
Its purpose is to reduce the number of decisions you need to make when you are already struggling.
Instead of asking yourself, “What am I supposed to do?” you can open the kit and choose one small thing.
You do not have to use every item.
You do not have to complete an activity.
You can simply open the kit, look inside and sit beside it.
That still counts.
Begin With What You Already Have
You do not need to buy specialist products before you can begin.
Look around the room you are in now.
You may already have:
A smooth stone
A piece of soft fabric
A pencil and scrap paper
A favourite mug
A small object with an interesting texture
A photograph you like
Headphones
A hair tie or piece of ribbon
A cool drink
A small puzzle
A shell, leaf or seed pod
A familiar book
A piece of mosaic, tile or coloured glass
A comforting scent that you already know is safe for you
Choose one or two things that feel neutral, pleasant or familiar.
They do not need to create an immediate feeling of calm. Sometimes an object simply gives your hands somewhere to rest while the difficult moment passes.
You can use whatever you have.
Image suggestion: Everyday household items gathered on a table, including a stone, fabric, pencil, notebook, shell and small coloured tiles.
Alt text: Everyday objects that can be used to begin a simple calm-down kit.
Make the Smallest Possible Kit First
Trying to build an elaborate kit while you are already overwhelmed may become another task you feel you have to complete.
Begin with three things:
Something to hold
Something simple to do
Something that helps you know what comes next
For example, your first kit might contain:
A smooth stone to hold
A pencil and folded piece of paper
A note that says, “Sit down. Put both feet somewhere supported. You do not have to decide anything yet.”
That is already a complete calm-down kit.
You can add other items later, when you have more energy.
There is no deadline.
Image suggestion: A small drawstring bag beside three simple items—a stone, a pencil and a folded handwritten note.
Alt text: Small beginner calm-down kit with a smooth stone, pencil and handwritten reminder.
Step One: Choose Something for Your Hands
When thoughts are moving quickly, giving your hands a slow and predictable action can provide somewhere for your attention to land.
Choose something you can hold, press, sort, move or arrange without needing to make complicated decisions.
You could include:
A smooth stone or piece of polished wood
A soft cloth or piece of textured fabric
Modelling clay or reusable putty
A stress ball
A string of beads
A small brush
A piece of ribbon
A handful of buttons to sort
Large mosaic tiles or ceramic pieces with smooth edges
A small object you can turn over in your hands
Paper to fold, tear or roll
Before adding an object, check that it does not have sharp edges, loose splinters or small parts that could be unsafe for the person using the kit.
You do not need to use the object in a particular way.
You might hold it tightly, move it between your fingers, trace its edges or simply rest it in your palm.
Notice what your hands naturally want to do.
There is no need to make them do something different.
Image suggestion: A hand holding a smooth ceramic tile while several textured objects rest nearby.
Alt text: Hand holding a smooth tile chosen as a simple object for a calm-down kit.
Step Two: Add a Simple Visual Activity
A visual activity can give your eyes one small area to focus on when the rest of the room feels too busy.
This is not about producing good artwork.
It is simply something you can begin without needing a plan.
You could include:
Blank paper
A small notebook
Coloured pencils
A black marker
Simple colouring pages
A photograph of a peaceful or familiar place
Pattern cards
A small puzzle
Mosaic pieces to arrange without gluing
Paint sample cards
A collection of coloured paper
A page of circles, lines or shapes to trace
One of the simplest activities is to place a pencil on paper and draw one continuous line.
Let it move slowly.
It can loop, cross over itself, stop or change direction.
You do not have to turn it into a picture.
You can also arrange coloured objects into rows, circles, groups or patterns. Nothing needs to be glued down. You can move everything again whenever you like.
You do not have to create anything impressive. You are giving yourself something manageable to do.
Sometimes difficult feelings build gradually rather than arriving all at once. A familiar activity can make it easier to notice that you need a pause before everything becomes too much.
Image suggestion: Hands arranging colourful ceramic pieces into a loose spiral on a plain tabletop without glue.
Alt text: Hands slowly arranging colourful mosaic pieces into a simple spiral pattern.
Step Three: Include Something That Supports Your Senses
Different sensory experiences help different people.
Some people feel steadier with softness and warmth. Others prefer something cool, firm, heavy, quiet or visually simple.
Choose only what feels comfortable to you.
Touch
You might include:
Soft fabric
A textured square
A smooth tile
A weighted lap item
A brush with soft bristles
A piece of knitted or crocheted material
A firm object to press between your palms
Sound
You might include:
Headphones
Earplugs
A saved playlist
Nature sounds
White, brown or pink noise
A familiar guided activity
A recording of your own reassuring instructions
Complete silence, if sound feels like too much
Sight
You might include:
A favourite photograph
A small glitter jar
Coloured glass
A slowly moving object
A simple pattern
A picture of an animal, garden, sky or familiar room
A card with one short instruction
Temperature
You might include or keep nearby:
A cool drink
A wrapped cool pack
A warm wheat bag
A soft blanket
A face washer
A hand warmer
Avoid putting anything extremely hot or frozen directly against your skin. Use a cloth barrier and choose a mild temperature that feels comfortable.
Scent
A familiar scent may feel comforting to some people, but scents can also be overwhelming.
You might use:
A familiar hand cream
A scented tea bag
A piece of clean fabric carrying a familiar household scent
A gently scented soap
An unscented item if smells make things harder
Do not include strong scents simply because they are commonly described as calming.
Your response matters more than the name on the product.
Image suggestion: A gentle collection of sensory items including soft fabric, headphones, a cool cloth, a photograph and a smooth tile.
Alt text: Simple touch, sound, sight and temperature items for a personalised calm-down kit.
Step Four: Add Something for Gentle Movement
Sometimes sitting completely still feels impossible.
Your kit can include an activity that allows movement without requiring exercise, performance or a lot of space.
You might try:
Rolling a ball between your hands
Slowly stretching a piece of fabric
Pressing your palms together and releasing
Moving beads from one container to another
Sorting objects into small groups
Tearing paper into strips
Folding and unfolding a cloth
Drawing large circles
Walking slowly while holding one object from the kit
Placing mosaic pieces one at a time
Choose a movement that feels steady and repeatable.
You are not trying to wear yourself out.
You are giving some of the energy somewhere safe to go.
Image suggestion: Hands slowly moving smooth objects from one small bowl into another.
Alt text: Hands using a slow, repetitive sorting activity during an overwhelming moment.
Step Five: Include a Very Short Instruction
During a difficult moment, a long list may be impossible to read.
Place one short instruction near the top of your kit.
You could write:
Open the kit. Choose one thing. Stay with it for one minute.
Or:
Sit somewhere supported. Hold one object. Nothing else is required yet.
Or:
You do not need to solve the whole day. Begin with this moment.
Choose words that sound like something you would actually want to hear.
Avoid writing instructions that feel demanding, overly positive or dismissive.
“Calm down” may not feel helpful.
“Everything is fine” may not feel true.
Use words that leave room for what you are experiencing.
For example:
This is difficult. You can take one small step without knowing what happens after that.
Image suggestion: A handwritten card resting at the top of an open kit with the words “Choose one thing. Nothing else is required yet.”
Alt text: Short reassuring instruction card placed inside a calm-down kit.
Step Six: Add an Activity That Requires Almost No Thinking
Choose an activity that can be repeated without needing to make many decisions.
Possibilities include:
Sorting objects by colour
Drawing repeated lines
Filling a page with dots
Folding paper
Making small balls from scrap paper
Arranging tiles into rows
Tracing around objects
Brushing a piece of fabric
Winding ribbon around a piece of card
Matching pairs of colours
Looking for five objects of the same colour
Slowly stacking and unstacking safe objects
You can stop at any time.
You do not need to finish the page, pattern or pile.
The activity has already done its job if it gave you something simple to return to for a few moments.
Image suggestion: A tabletop with coloured pencils, torn paper, buttons and ceramic pieces arranged into small colour groups.
Alt text: Simple calm-down activities using coloured pencils, paper, buttons and ceramic pieces sorted by colour.
A Simple Mosaic Activity for Your Kit
Mosaic pieces can be useful because they give your hands something solid and your eyes something specific to follow.
You do not need glue, grout or a finished design.
Use only pieces with smooth, safe edges.
Place a few pieces on a tray, cloth or sheet of paper.
Choose one very simple action:
Place the pieces in a line
Group similar colours together
Make a circle
Build a pattern that repeats
Move each piece from one side of the tray to the other
Choose the piece that best matches how the moment feels
Choose another piece that represents what you need next
Arrange the pieces and then start again
There is no hidden meaning you need to discover.
You do not have to explain your choices.
You can simply notice colour, shape, weight and movement.
When you finish, place the pieces back into the kit.
Nothing needs to become permanent.
Image suggestion: A shallow tray containing smooth mosaic pieces arranged into a simple line and colour groups.
Alt text: Smooth mosaic pieces used for a simple, temporary arranging activity.
When You Cannot Decide What to Use
Sometimes even choosing one item feels like too much.
When that happens, use the first safe object your hand touches.
You can also number three items and roll a die, choose a card or ask someone you trust to place one item beside you.
Another option is to keep one “start here” object at the very top of the kit.
This might be:
A smooth stone
A folded cloth
A large wooden bead
A pencil
A small tile
A card with one sentence
Your only task is to pick it up.
You do not need to know what to do after that.
Hold it while you sit, stand, walk or wait.
A One-Minute Way to Use Your Kit
When you need something simple, try this:
Open the kit.
Place both feet, your back or your arms somewhere supported.
Choose one object.
Notice its weight, shape or texture.
Move it slowly between your hands.
Look at one small detail.
Stay for one minute, or stop sooner if you need to.
You do not have to breathe in a particular way.
You do not have to close your eyes.
You do not have to feel calm by the end.
The purpose is to create a small pause between you and everything demanding your attention.
After one minute, you can continue, choose another item or put the kit away.
All three choices are valid.
Image suggestion: A person seated in a supportive chair holding one small object from an open kit.
Alt text: Person using one simple object from a calm-down kit while seated comfortably.
Creating a Kit for Different Kinds of Moments
You may eventually notice that different moments need different things.
Restlessness may call for movement.
Feeling emotionally heavy may call for comfort and fewer demands.
Mental noise may call for a repetitive activity.
Sensory overload may call for fewer objects, dimmer light and less sound.
You do not need to label what is happening before using the kit.
You can simply notice which items you reach for most often.
If the same need keeps returning, it is okay to quietly pay attention to that. You do not need to analyse it immediately. Noticing is enough.
For Loud or Overstimulating Moments
Consider including:
Earplugs or headphones
A plain cloth to place over visually busy items
Sunglasses or a hat
One smooth object
A card with only one instruction
An unscented item
Keep this version of the kit visually simple.
For Restless or Frustrated Moments
Consider including:
Paper to tear
Putty or clay
A firm stress ball
Objects to sort
A resistance band
Large drawing paper
A repetitive hands-on activity
Choose items that can be handled firmly without breaking or causing injury.
For Flat or Disconnected Moments
Consider including:
A cool cloth
Textured fabric
A familiar song
A strongly coloured object
A photograph of something real and familiar
A simple movement prompt
A warm or cool drink
Use gentle sensations rather than anything painful or extreme.
For Sad or Heavy Moments
Consider including:
A blanket or soft item
Tissues
A familiar object
A notebook
A comforting photograph
A quiet creative activity
A reminder that nothing has to be solved today
The kit does not need to cheer you up.
It can simply stay with you while the moment is heavy.
Creating a Portable Calm-Down Kit
A portable kit can be kept in a handbag, backpack, car, work drawer or school bag.
Choose a small pouch or container.
You might include:
A smooth object
Earplugs
A hair tie or ribbon
A folded piece of paper
A pencil
A small piece of fabric
A familiar photograph
A mint or safe snack
A card with one short instruction
A link or QR code leading to a guided activity
Keep the portable kit simple enough that you can find what you need quickly.
Avoid including anything that could leak, melt, spoil or become unsafe in heat.
Image suggestion: A small zippered pouch containing a smooth tile, folded note, earplugs, pencil and fabric square.
Alt text: Portable calm-down kit in a small pouch with a tile, note, earplugs, pencil and soft fabric.
Creating a Kit for a Child
A child’s calm-down kit should not be used as a punishment or a way of sending them away for having feelings.
It should be introduced during a reasonably settled moment.
Let the child help choose the container and contents where possible.
You might say:
“This is a collection of things you can use when everything feels like a lot. You can use it alone, or I can stay nearby.”
Include a small number of safe, age-appropriate items such as:
Soft fabric
Large sensory objects
Drawing materials
Picture cards
A favourite small toy
A simple puzzle
A drink bottle
Headphones
Bubbles
Large mosaic or sorting pieces that cannot be swallowed
Young children should be supervised around small objects, cords, batteries, liquids and anything that could break.
Do not require the child to use the kit in a particular way.
They may know what feels helpful better than an adult observing from the outside.
Image suggestion: A child-friendly basket containing drawing materials, headphones, soft fabric, a toy and large safe sorting objects.
Alt text: Child-friendly calm-down kit containing simple, age-appropriate comfort and activity items.
Creating a Shared Household Kit
A household kit can be useful when more than one person needs access to simple, low-pressure activities.
Keep shared items clean and easy to replace.
You might include:
Paper and drawing tools
Puzzles
Smooth stones
Fabric pieces
Headphones that can be cleaned
Reusable putty in separate containers
A small timer
Safe objects for sorting
A list of quiet activities
Individual envelopes for personal items
Each person can also have a small personal pouch containing objects that should not be shared.
The kit should remain available without anyone needing to earn access to it.
What Not to Put in Your Kit
Avoid adding items because somebody else says they are supposed to be calming.
Leave out anything that:
Causes discomfort
Has an overwhelming smell
Makes a distressing noise
Has sharp or broken edges
Carries upsetting memories
Creates pressure to perform
Requires complicated instructions
Could leak, spoil or become unsafe
Feels childish or embarrassing to you
Makes you feel worse
You are allowed to remove an item that used to help.
You are allowed to change your mind.
A calm-down kit should support the person using it, not follow a universal formula.
Keep the Kit Easy to Reach
A kit cannot help much if it is hidden beneath storage, locked away or kept somewhere difficult to access.
Place it somewhere you can reach without needing to explain yourself.
Possible locations include:
Beside your bed
Under a desk
Near your usual chair
In a living-room cupboard
Beside the front door
In your car
In a work drawer
In a school bag
Near your creative workspace
You may want more than one small kit.
One could stay at home, one could travel with you and one could remain near the place where difficult moments happen most often.
Image suggestion: A small calm-down basket placed within easy reach beside a bed or favourite chair.
Alt text: Calm-down kit stored within easy reach beside a comfortable chair.
Review It Gently
You do not need to maintain your kit according to a strict schedule.
Every now and then, look inside.
Remove rubbish, damaged objects or dried-out materials.
Replace anything that has run out.
Notice which items you use and which ones you avoid.
You are not measuring your progress.
You are learning what feels useful.
Some items may help only in certain situations. Others may become familiar objects you return to again and again.
This does not always come from just one moment. A kit can become more personal and useful as you notice what your difficult moments tend to need.
Follow Along With a “Come Create With Me” Session
You do not have to build your kit alone.
You can follow a guided “Come Create With Me” session and collect your items one step at a time.
You are welcome to:
Follow the activity from beginning to end
Complete only one step
Watch without participating
Pause whenever you need to
Replace the suggested materials with whatever you have
Leave and return later
Use paper, drawing, objects or mosaic pieces
Keep the video playing quietly while you sit
There is no expectation to share what you are feeling.
You do not need to explain why you need the kit.
The session is simply there to provide structure when creating your own structure feels difficult.
Image suggestion: A calm creative workspace with a video playing beside paper, pencils and an open kit.
Alt text: Guided create-with-me session playing beside simple calm-down kit materials.
Use Your Kit Without Trying to Fix the Whole Moment
Open the container.
Choose one thing.
Hold it, move it, look at it or place it beside you.
That may be enough for now.
You might still feel upset.
Your situation may still be difficult.
The kit is not asking you to pretend otherwise.
It is giving you one small action you can take while the rest remains unresolved.
You do not have to fix everything right now.
You can just start with something small.
You can use whatever you have.
You can come back to this anytime.
You do not have to do this perfectly.
A Gentle Next Step
Choose a container.
Place one safe object inside it.
Add a piece of paper with these words:
Start here. Choose one thing. Nothing else is required yet.
Your kit can grow later.
For today, one object and one steady reminder are enough.
You have made somewhere to begin.
Image suggestion: A closed calm-down kit resting beside a comfortable chair, with one smooth stone placed on top.
Alt text: Simple calm-down kit beside a comfortable chair with a smooth stone resting on the lid.
Important Support Note
This activity is intended to offer a practical, gentle action during moments of stress or emotional difficulty.
It is not medical care, counselling or emergency support.
If you are in immediate danger, believe you may hurt yourself or someone else, or cannot remain safe, contact emergency services or a trusted person who can stay with you and help you access immediate support.